I’ve been back in Seoul for exactly two weeks.
After arriving here on 25 Feb, I’d spent the next one week and a half settling into the apartment and familiarizing myself with a different routine compared to Singapore. I’d spent the time unpacking the contents in my luggage and storing them in the cupboards, cleaning the apartment, changing bedsheets, doing laundry and stocking up on fresh groceries and household products. I had also used that 1.5 weeks to settle any outstanding admin issues like paying the rent and utility bills, returning overdue library books and settling my timetable.
School only officially started on 7 March for me! Alhamdulillah, it’s going to be a three-days school week for me this semester. I’m kind of looking forward to the no-school Thursdays and Fridays as I intend to fill those times catching up on school work.
On 7 March too, I had a friend who came and will be staying with me till the end of the month. It feels great to have a roommate for the next 3 weeks. While I treasure the solitary times I have been spending in the apartment, I must admit that I welcome even more having someone living with me.
The companionship that I derived from having someone live with me these past few days has kept my spirits up. I still miss the people back home a lot but I also know that I’d have felt worse if I had been alone.
And yes, I miss people back home a lot. Those feelings strike me more acutely during those times I lie on my bed just before sleep overtakes me. My mind and heart seem to automatically take me back home and suddenly I will find myself thinking of the people there as soon as I close my eyes.
During those times I’m reminded deeply of how no matter how much I love and embrace the knowledge and experiences I’m able to glean here, my heart isn’t fully here. I know with a conviction that as soon as I’m done with my studies here, I want nothing else but to be back in Singapore where home, opportunities, future, and people I love are, insyaAllah.
P.S. I turned 33 on 7 March too. That date was mentioned twice in this entry but only when I was about to post the entry that I realized it was also my birthday! It’s my second birthday away from Singapore but alhamdulillah, I felt the love from all the way there. Really thankful for the card and present I received from the bffs, as well as the video greetings from them and the colleagues!
Midnight just rolled around as I’m blogging this. It’s officially Thursday.
That means I only have two more nights (including tonight) where my family is physically so close before I turn in for the night. Three more mornings where I will wake up to a house filled with people I love very deeply.
I’m excited for all the things I am going to be learning in school but at the same time, my heart breaks at the thought of being so far from my family and loved ones. An emptiness echoes back whenever I tried to visualise myself shuffling around in the apartment, turning in and then waking up with the acknowledgement that my family is so far away.
I’m going to end this very short entry (very unlike my usual entries!) with this emoticon that describes how I’m feeling at the awareness that I’ll be headed to the airport on Friday night to board the flight to Seoul: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Can I like call the airline company and request to change the flight departure dates so that I can spend even more time with the family?
Afterall, classes only begin officially on 9 March. I can skip the first week which is the add/drop courses week. Can, can, can????
Lying in bed in the dark while blogging on the WordPress app. This is the first time that I’m using the app!
Figured I’d just quickly jot down some moments that occurred in the past few days for the record.
Celebrated the parents’ birthdays
The parents’ birthdays are only 4 days apart from each other. As they gained an extra year in their ages, I’m reminded that my time with them could be getting shorter.
Unlike during times when I was much younger, these days I began to comprehend more the sacrifices and love they have for me. I saw how the parents are very giving towards my siblings and I, how they are always our biggest supporters in whatever that we do and how they never fail to continuously make duas for us to be granted with nothing but the best.
They have such unconditional love for us. I feel it in not just the way they always go the extra mile for us but also in the way that I never felt as though my presence was not wanted.
Everytime I’m with the parents, I felt it in me that our presence are such a blessing to their lives.
For all the goodness they’ve shown my siblings and I, I pray that Allah grants them abundance both in this world and the Hereafter. I pray too that Allah forgives any of their sins and places them in Paradise, amin.
Korean language class
This week, I received news that I am being offered a place to learn Korean at the language institute on campus. Alhamdulillah!
It’s a ten weeks programme. Currently, I’m supposed to start attending lessons this March daily from Mondays to Fridays from 6.30pm to about 9.10pm. I also have the option to change the lesson start time to summer which is in June and attend the morning 9am lesson instead.
So now, I’m in a dilemma whether to postpone the start times or not. If I were to continue with the March start time, it means that I will be going back home from school late everyday. Plus, I will be juggling that with the other courses in the day.
If I were to start in June, it would mean that I would not be going back home to Singapore for the summer vacation. That means: After flying to Seoul next week, I’ll only be back in Singapore in December. I’ll literally be gone for the next 10 months!
Not too sure what I’ll do. Regardless, praying for Allah to help guide me to the suitable choice.
That’s “ache” in a literal sense.
Not too sure why but the heart has been feeling a tad bit odd these past few weeks. Even as I’m blogging this, I felt a slight tug at some vein near the heart area just mere moments ago.
Also, I do not know whether there is a co-relation but past few weeks too, there have been some moments when my world just seemed to momentarily spin. It will spin for a few seconds. The feeling’s as though I’m losing my balance. Like I will fall on the ground. It’ll last only a few seconds though.
Hmmm. Hoping it’s nothing and just my imagination!
I’ll be living alone in Seoul yet again. Gonna be doing everything alone and it’s gonna be back to times where I have to rely on only myself to survive the days. So yep, praying that my body continues being healthy insyaAllah.
Just a few days ago I was feeling worried when I read news of someone who passed away suddenly. That compelled me to send a panicked WhatsApp text to both my bffs to tell them to start wondering if they don’t hear any replies from me for more than 3 days. Though seriously, who they have to contact to check if I’m allright is beyond me. I really do not have anyone in Seoul whom the people in Singapore can contact to check on me.
Okay. Hand’s getting cramped from typing this blog entry on my mobile phone. Gonna stop now. It’s pretty convenient to be using this WordPress app though!