Rays of Splendour


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Of regret(s)

I was listening to this song by Bruno Mars titled ‘When I was your Man’. Its lyrics speak of a man’s regret towards losing his loved one and the should-haves.

So I was pondering over this theme of regret. In Islam, ‘regret’ is a feeling that we are discouraged to have. By possessing feelings of (deep) regret, the worry is that we will fall into the trap of being irreverent to God’s will. But I guess irreverence aside, regret is a human trait which can be hard to suppress. One might attempt to inhibit any feelings of regret however it normally tends to manifest itself in one way or another particularly if the loss is something dear to the person.

Pondering over the concept of ‘regret’ sparked off in me thoughts about my own life. I realized that I do not want to be in a position whereby I am regretting something – regretting that I didn’t treat my parents better; regretting that I didn’t spend enough time with my parents; regretting that I hadn’t done enough in making them happy; regretting that I didn’t pursue my Masters; regretting that I didn’t choose another path career-wise and basically, life; regretting that I didn’t take that chance with love and marriage.

The other night, I had a horrid dream. I dreamed that my dad passed away and I was making preparations for his funeral. I woke up with a start and was momentarily confused as I tried to make sense of the true reality. The dream had seemed so real that I was momentarily gripped with panic. Immeasurable regret had consumed me ever since that day. I recalled instances when I was a less-than-exemplary daughter. I make him so worried sometimes.

This dream made me realize that 1) I love my dad deeply and 2) I might not be able to cope/come to terms with his permanent absence from our lives when the time comes. Would I want to put regret into the picture as well when the time comes? No.

No to this and to all the things mentioned before too.


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The heart and its path to the Lord

How can the heart be illumined
while the forms of creatures are reflected in its mirror?
Or how can it journey to God
while shackled by its passions?
Or how can it desire to enter the Presence of God
while it has not yet purified itself
of the stain of forgetfulness?
Or how can it understand the subtle points of mysteries
while it has not yet repented of its offences?

– Imam Ibn Ataillah


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Happiness is a blessing

I think it is safe to say that there are thousands – possibly millions – of websites out there that offer tips on how to be happy. Of course whenever anything is in surfeit, the product/service can come in a range of quality depending on its content (even design, manner of marketing, etc). Out of these plethora of websites, I find that I am able to relate more to those that come across like they truly care in ensuring you will attain happiness.

This idea of attaining happiness came to my mind this week. No matter how useful a site is in dispensing advice on being happy and no matter how closely one follows its suggestions or gets inspired by it, isn’t happiness essentially an entity that will only be realized if God decrees it? That delight one experiences when something good happens to him/her/people they care about is the work of God. Granted, one need not be happy only when something good happens as happiness can transpire even in bad times. Regardless of the form that happiness extended from, it is a blessing from Him.

But sometimes, I forget that everything comes from Him. And that everything on earth – happiness included – is ephemeral.