Time truly flies whenever you seek to be productive with it. Sometimes, I find myself thinking “If only there were more than 24 hours in one day, I could squeeze in more things to do!“. However the reality is that by the time I got ready to settle into bed at about midnight or 2am, I’ll be thinking “Will my body recover from the exhaustion fast enough for me to tackle the day when I awaken at 5am later?“
And with the coming of May, that means I have approximately 9 months left to get ready for the next project in life I’d signed up for, insyaAllah. It seemed like the best idea at that time – I had convinced myself that I needed that experience to expand my worldview and also perhaps that it is a step God is prodding me to take to learn new things about Him, life and myself – however as the day draws nearer, I found that I’m grappling with a challenge I never knew I’d face: detachment.
I began reflecting by asking myself lots of questions in trying to make sense of this new-found realization that I had somehow over the years amassed a significant amount of attachment to my family, friends and job. What has changed since back then? Why have I grown attached to these things? Since when has this attachment started?
I vividly recalled how, many years back when I came across the verse in the Quran which says that our family and possessions are adornments in the worldly life (18:46), how also God repeatedly mentions in a few verses that the reality of the worldly life lies in its transience, and later as I learned more about the sciences of the heart, how we should place our attachment only on Allah alone, I had sought to do just that. Yet as I grew to love, care and cherish my family, friends and job, I guess I must’ve somehow let them occupied a larger portion in my heart that I had anticipated.
However if I were to view this whole experience positively, I believe that this upcoming hijrah I’ll be making is actually doing just that: to teach me the art of detachment. Thankfully, Allah is ever merciful and is slowly guiding me through this process of letting go. In a sense, I’m given time to let go which I feel is important for if it is too sudden, it will leave a gaping hole in me.
I also realize that it is not wrong to love, care and cherish the things I do as long as I’m cognizant that they are gifts from the Creator Himself. Recognizing His hand in every aspect of our lives and being thankful to Him whether we are able to witness the blessings at that point in time or not are all part of worshiping and raising His existence to a higher level of consciousness within ourselves. Sometimes, we become so preoccupied with engaging in the practical acts of worship that we overlook other aspects that falls under this huge category of worship.
And speaking of worship, doesn’t to love, care and cherish our families and people around us constitute forms of worship too? To put these acts into words seem so simple but truly the act of loving, caring and cherishing is peppered with their own set of challenges too. For instance given how some days can get so hectic with work and other back-to-back activities, it does sometimes take a whole lot of effort, reminding and disciplining the self to push through the exhaustion and listen to your family member when he or she wants to have a conversation with you. But that conversation? Perhaps it’s very important to the said family member who could have waited the whole day just for you to be home. Hence, to offer that small act of simply listening as it is done because the heart sincerely cannot bear to disappoint or just to help a creation of Allah swt is worship in itself.
Last but importantly, to possess those feelings that I have for His sake is one I should aspire towards and always keep in mind as I continue embracing it. The Lord never says not to love but to sincerely express in that loving, caring, and cherishing which He has blessed us with, the intention to do so for His sake.
I pray that He constantly and continues to guide our heart to lean towards Him always, amin.