This week saw me flying to Seoul for two purposes:
- To settle accommodation matters
- To test grounds in living alone
I managed to settle the accommodation matters pretty fast which was suprising. I had planned to wrap things up by Saturday but alhamdulillah, I was able to do it sooner than that.
However the second purpose remains ongoing until I am back home in Singapore. These past three days have left me much room for thought and to a certain extent, it gave me some affirmations.
One of those things I realized which I haven’t outgrown even till now is how much I dislike coming back to an empty home. That silence that greets me back after I have said my “Assalamulaikum” or “Assalamualaina” is still something that I have never accustomed myself to. For as long as I can remember, I have always came home to someone. When I was a child right up to my teens, that someone was my grandmother. I guess that could be one of the reasons why it is so difficult for me to get used to coming back to an empty home.
Next I realized that besides work, my family and the time I spend on the prayer mat and the Quran occupies a large proportion of how I spend my time. During this trip, I had none of the three with me. Work is obviously out of the picture and that is fine. The important things are that my family isn’t here and for these few days, I’m unable to pray nor read the Quran. Admittedly, I felt quite lost. It’s like those aspects that I live for during this short time I have in this world are missing.
Sometimes, it takes being apart from something or someone to make you realize how important that aspect is in your life, or just how deeply you love it. It’s like through its absence, Allah is making us appreciate every single blessings that He has given us. And through that, you draw yourself even closer to Him and ask Him to preserve the relationship and blessings He has given you in this world till Jannah.