First entry written in Seoul and I foresee that there will be many more to come.
So as I’m sitting here in my room, I’m thinking about two things:
- I actually went through with the crazy idea to study in Seoul and,
- Am I really going to continue my studies?
I received a letter from the school back in 2014 stating that my application was successful. I was pretty thrilled to know that I was offered a place to study here and looked forward so much to being able to study when the time comes. However March 2015 rolled along and I was not able to go. That led to a painful few weeks of requesting the university to grant me a leave of absence for a year and emails back and forth to my reporting officer, the HR manager, the admin officer at the university and lastly, the professor.
Hence when the 2015 working year drew to a close, I dare not hope that the idea of finally going ahead with my studies would materialize. In fact, right up to the week that I was supposed to leave for Seoul, I still did not believe it will become a reality and hence why I was the least excited person as compared to those around me.
Once bitten, twice shy. And yes, I’m one of those people who finds it hard – though truly, I try my best to – to be opened to second chances once the first one has gone awry.
Even now as I’m blogging about this, with the prospect of the new Spring semester starting in two days’ time looming ahead, I’m still wondering whether I’m truly starting school after all.
I’m also wondering whether I will ever be able to successfully graduate at the end of two years. What if I flunk? What if midway through it, I have a change of heart?
I guess I need to stop with all these questioning and remind myself yet again that it’s the process that matters.
Regardless of the end result of this two year stint in Seoul, I pray that Allah allows me to come out of this experience a stronger, wiser and better person than before and with an increased intimacy with Him. Amin.