Rays of Splendour


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Wk 2/15

I’m blogging this with a very, very, very full stomach. I just had three plates of kimchi fried rice which I cooked.

I don’t know why I’m so hungry even when all I’ve done for the whole of Saturday were simply small unimportant things like washed my laundry, read two little articles related to my thesis, spent like 10 minutes pondering yet again the direction of my thesis, looking at houses online and watched a Korean drama as I ate. Nothing exhaustive but I was soooo hungry that I ended up eating three plates of fried rice even though I planned to refrigerate most of it and eat it on another day!

So how’s this week been like for me?

For starters, I have been tired most of the time. I feel exhausted no matter how much I slept. I’ve been wondering why that was so. Honestly, this exhaustion is making me pretty unproductive. When I saw that my energy level was low, I took some supplements this week in an attempt to boost my energy. No effect! I did more yoga exercises too in the hopes of boosting the blood circulation in my body but I still feel tired all the time.

The exhaustion aside, I’m pretty much enjoying my lessons alhamdulillah. I feel like I’m learning a lot from the classes that I’m taking this time. I had intentionally chosen two classes whose content I have very little knowledge of – the first one deals with the European Union and the second class centers around Political Islam. Thus far, I have been enjoying the content and discussions we had and look forward to learning new things every time I go for lessons alhamdulillah.

Also, I’ve been back in Seoul for close to two weeks already but the furthest I’ve ventured is to the shops and markets that are 10 minutes bus ride away from my apartment on campus. This is so unlike me! I’m one of those who like to go out but these two weeks, I find a lot of comfort just being within the perimeters of the campus. Many times I’ve had thoughts like how I should probably go to certain places to check some things out or buy something from there but when the day comes, I simply cannot be bothered with the idea of making my way to those places.

I still do miss my home and the people there. My family, friends and R have been so busy. The whole of this week, I had such minimum contact with them. The combination of minimal contact and my attempts to try and occupy my time with things so that I’ll think less of home and the people there had the effect of making me feel detached. That was what I realized in recent times! I felt so detached that I realized I had forgotten I’ll be getting married. I only remembered it when I received a text from R about a house listing. So like… Received text about house listing –> Asked myself why he would give me that –> Remembered we are house hunting –> Remembered we are making plans to get married.

Sometimes, I even forgot all about R and the people back home until I received a text from them. It took me a few seconds to recognize who is texting me and why they would even text me. It’s like there is this vacuum in my mind that sort of erased their memory in me just for a split second. Not just people but even passwords! Prior to this, I have all the passwords solidly kept in my memory but these 1 – 2 weeks, I found myself utilizing the ‘Forget password’ function for my various accounts. And these are accounts I frequently accessed so forgetting their password is an oddity. Is my brain allright???

So in a nutshell, I seem very much put together this week (alhamdulillah) but not entirely so as you can see from the immense hunger I experience, constant exhaustion, lack of motivation to explore places and also, forgetting that I have committed myself to important decisions in life and a whole lot of other things!


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15 weeks?!?

When I first started living in Seoul and blogging about it, I remembered doing a countdown of the number of weeks I have till this journey in this phase of my life is done.

The weeks had totaled to 104. Somewhere along the way, I lost my mojo to do a weekly recap of my days in Seoul and stopped at Wk 15/104. To be honest, 104 weeks of being in Seoul and away from home and loved ones had seemed a lot so I’d abandoned the plan to do a weekly journal sometime in Week 15.

Last week when I arrived back here after a very busy one month summer vacation in Singapore, I did a mental calculation and realized that with the multiple rising and setting of the sun, the changing phases of the moon, and the start and end of a few semesters in school, the number of weeks had reduced to 15.

15 weeks!

In fact at the time of blogging this, it’s Wk 2/15. I’m telling myself to attempt a second go at blogging a weekly recap of my days in Seoul so praying that I’ll be consistent!

Since I’ve missed Wk 1/15, here’s a brief recap of that particular week (and then officially write a Wk 2/15 at the end of this week):

  1. Arrived back in Seoul on 3 Sep, cleaned the apartment, went grocery shopping the following day and basically, made the apartment comfortable for habitation yet again.
  2. Settled all outstanding payments related to the apartment. Rent, electricity bills and utility bills. I was unable to pay my bills using the internet and hadn’t paid the August bills!
  3. Decided to go ahead with the Korean class which was offered by the school. I went for the placement test without cracking open the book to revise.
  4. Attended Korean classes yet again. As this is a higher level class, the teacher teaches EVERYTHING in Korean. All explanations and teaching are done in Korean. No English. *screams silently inside* 1 hr into the lesson, I could feel the onset of a headache kicking in because I’m utilizing that part of the brain pertaining to language learning which I seldom use! Kept being annoying throughout the lesson by asking my classmate what the teacher just said or had asked me, as well as answering the teacher in English when she asked me in Korean. Basically #annoying. Things are better in the second lesson as I could better recall the Korean I’ve learned.
  5. Hung out with my Bruneian friend at the dining area near the dorm. It was absolutely nice to just sit, chat, laugh and basically pretend that I do not have a thesis to work on.

Of course there were other things that happened in between which aren’t living-in-Seoul-related. For now, I’m in that position whereby I’m juggling both the responsibilities and demands of school and living in Seoul as well as settling/planning other responsibilities back in Singapore.

Whatever it is, I’m going with the flow and pray that Allah blesses my time. Amin.


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Summer of procrastination (on thesis)

At the time of blogging this, I’m finally officially having a summer break. Yessah!

I was tempted to spend the summer exploring more of the provinces of Korea. I figured a month would be more than enough to slowly travel and experience the different provinces. However, I had errands and matters to attend to back home and hence off to Singapore I went!

So I’ve been back in Singapore for about 2 weeks now. It has been a busy two weeks spent settling things, trying to catch up with people here and also, just to rest.

In between, I caught a flu bug that has been making its rounds among the people here and I’ve been trying to drive away the runny nose, scratchy throat and dry cough since last week. I’m heaps better at the time of writing this but yeah, my lungs still feel irritated at times. The air in this western part of Singapore I’m staying at is really polluted that it has triggered my asthma thus prompting me to use the inhaler EVERY SINGLE DAY since I got back. I probably need to get myself some new supply of the inhalers soon cos the current ones are almost empty.

Health-issues aside, I’ve been telling myself every single day to get my ass working on the thesis. Honestly every time I open my laptop, I have all intentions to start on my research or email some people who would be helpful in allowing me to get access to some data. But the reality does not pan out that way for every time I’m on my laptop, I will find a million and one other things to occupy myself with which has no relation to my thesis such as the following:

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j88hbs

Instead of working on the thesis, I’m spending time googling for memes related to it and laughing my heads off at some of the funny captions. Some of these memes are so funny I.just.can’t!

#queenofprocrastination

I hope that the next time I blog, I’d have some updates about the progress I’ve made on my thesis. Amin.